"NEWEST Little RED CAMERA"

IT SEEMS ALL MY WORK AND STRUGGLES IN THESE PAST 18 MONTHS....
CAN COME DOWN TO A SNARKY SENTENCE: "... DON'T YOU WANT TO EARN A LIVING.. OR IS IT ALL ABOUT GETTING A "RED CAMERA"....." or something to this effect.

It amazes me that my work and successes can be deconstructed into a series of a social worker's comments (MAYBE IT SHOULD NOT ?) and - what appeared to Me to be; Harsh yet, pointless questions. (Unless your objective is to further denigrate someone (ME) trying to make it work and not go deeper into debt)

I was told by a learned friend, that social programs like this: "set you up to fail" If that basic premise of this is true, then I HAVE truly wasted the last year of my dog; Sparkie's life... fretting and working. Filled at times with months of anxiety and distress... all the while my best friends' life was counting down like a ticking clock ...literally!!!!!!!!!! And so she passed and I have lost her love and gift her life with me.
With solid regret in these last months since MAY: of toil and distress, to do as much as I can for this "Social Program" (doing my part ?) I once believed was trying to help me get back to a level of "FINANCIAL INDEPENDENCE" A PHRASE I HAVE REPEATED OVER AND OVER AS MY OBJECTIVE- and with an urgency since MAY of 2008; that I made clear to ALL INVOLVED at that time, was that I make this happen- AND AS SOON AS POSSIBLE!!!

BUT NO... NO ONE: listened to me or took my advice from all the hours and days of research and wasted ink on wasted paper, that occupy BOXES that are IN MY WAY now!

Meanwhile my Dog was giving me her last months, weeks; and EVERY minute she could squeeze out of her life for ME! (and That "life" is a story in itself!)

SO here is a picture of a new RED camera announced just a couple of days after her passing.
Let this picture of the "NEWEST Little RED CAMERA" be a tribute to the; purely wasted time and effort on my part to become a viable, self employed Woman with vast talents....

....it has hardly been just about' a little red camera'; but 'a Place of my own': the kind of place Virgina Woolf ('A Room of One's Own') explained in 1929.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Virginia_Woolf

And yet, A Real SPACE of my own, to LIVE and make my "MEANS OF PRODUCTION" run smoothly and generate that "FINANCIAL INDEPENDENCE" that I deserve: JUST LIKE THE LITTLE RED CAMERA

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/A_Room_of_One%27s_Own
IN HER ESSAY: "The essay examines whether women were capable of producing work of the quality of ...."MEN"......., amongst other topics".
Locally, I struggle against this Bull Shit notion in the art community everyday; And a HINT: THE MEN WIN- every time.
Why do you think that is? ...especially IF: Women (or A Woman) is/are in a place of power to make a difference?????

That's all i can say about that.. Forrest..

All the Kitties miss you Sparkie.....